Anusara workshop: building the year's foundation

Wow, what a great workshop I just got home from! "The Practice" - a monthly workshop with the amazing and sooooooo cute Stacey Rosenberg. There were about 20 of us, several people who practice and train with Stacey regularly and a bunch of "new friends" she called us. I hope this to be true, as I think I'd like to continue going to this workshop monthly and maybe actually making some new friends there.

I'd had a bit of a wonky morning - started the day with a private lesson for two close friends, then tried to run a couple of errands, but the one store didn't have what I needed, so I drove to the other one, farther away, in horrible traffic and rain, only to find out that their power was out! So I drove all the way home in the bad traffic and rain. My honey was in kind of a strange mood for some reason but wouldn't admit it and my own weird mood compounded on the electrostatic feeling, so when I headed over to the workshop, I was really ready to let go and do some yoga. I drove around the block several times and found a good spot with a few minutes to spare, walked in the door and stood in line at Yoga Tree Valencia, only to hear the girl in front of me say to the receptionist, "I'm signed up for the Yoga 101 workshop." Ooooooops! I was supposed to be at Yoga Tree HAYES, not Valencia! Grumbling, I got back in my car (in the rain), drove the extra 10 minutes to Hayes Valley and spent another 10 looking for parking, finally getting in to the workshop about 25 minutes late. Big sigh. But I was greeted with a super-warm and friendly smile from Stacey, so welcoming, so nice. I warmed up with some Downward Dogs and Uttanasanas, mini-Sun Salutations, and then joined the rest of the class in The Practice.

SO much shoulder opening and chest opening! OMG. One-minute handstands and Pincha Mayurasana, and then ALL of the chest openers leading to Urdhva Dhanurasana and a few variations there. WOW. So much release, so much opening - after our cool-down and pranayama and then final meditation, as I was putting my hoodie back on for Savasana, my emotions swelled up and all the energy of starting a new foundation for a new year and all of these thoughts and dreams that I have and all of the confusion I have about teaching and finding inner peace and living my yoga and my relationship and my writing and my life choices and everything swirled around me and I nearly burst into tears. Which would have been totally fine and wonderful, I'm sure, but still, I held back and let myself drift into Savasana, holding the emotions inside, where they're so used to hanging out. I let the tears come later, in the car. Because that's just how I am these days - wanting so much to be open and right there in the moment and showing the world who I am, but still can't just let my emotions pour out in yoga class with a bunch of strangers, even though that's probably one of the safest and most supportive environments in the world. Big sigh. That's another thing I would like to work on in myself this year, although "work" makes it sound like it will be hard. It's another way I will choose to be in 2008 (much better). Allowing myself not just to feel vulnerable around others but to really be vulnerable - to let myself be soft, in those moments when I just need to be soft. To be able to allow the intensity of the beautiful practice, the kindness and sweetness and wonderful vibe of being surrounded by really super-cool people, to just let myself feel it and be there and be alive in it and ... cry if I need to!

That said, I feel much better now. My sweetie and I had a bit of a clean-out, too, having worked out some emotions and taking a certain way we *used to* communicate about a particular issue to a new, and better, level that works for both of us. An even level. A level level. A balanced level.

It's all about balance, isn't it? Everything is balance, everything is nature seeking an equilibrium - everything is seeking stillness and ease. The yoga sutra of the month in my January newsletter: Sthira sukham asanam - There is steadiness and comfort in asana. It's all about balance - in my practice, or my Practice, as much as in my everyday life. Spacegirl's been wandering on the astral plane but I'm coming back down to earth. Still connected above, but seeking the grounding for the balance I need. I have my guides in the spirit realm - now, where are my wise elders on this planet? Who are my teachers, my guides? In 2008, I'm seeking my earthly guides as well as my spiritual ones and those from the etheric realm. Angels and the unseen are wonderful and real, but who is the human being that will hold my hand and assure me my feelings are valid, my confusion is normal, that I'm not just making shit up? I can't continue to only guide myself from within and trust my heart as my own guide always in every situation - can I? Don't I need someone outside of me, who's wise and smart and real and who can give me killer advice? Where is my buddy movie sidekick? Am I lost in the Matrix? Am I The One?????

;-)

I'm building the foundation for the year right now. Bear with me. Namasté.