Abundant Gratitude

Oh my gosh - what a day. A great day, of course, there's just lots of stuff going on. Good things ~ so much abundance! The image here is Lakshmi, the Goddess of Abundance, and I am thanking her in every moment for my wonderfully rich and abundant life! I had another wonderful private lesson this morning with my friend/student whose flexibility and strength is improving before my eyes, and it's so great to see and be a part of! My lunchtime class turned out to be a private, as well, with a return student, and she was so sweet and attentive and really got a lot out of the class, which made me feel so deeply grateful.

Things are sweet and wonderful with Dave, I've been crafting like mad and had a brilliant idea for a new project that I *love* ~ wish boxes! They're a variation on wish boxes that I've made before, but these will be more Day of the Dead style, like my Spacekitten stuff, and I'm very, very excited about them.

I got an email today alerting me to a special, one-day-only chance to sign up at the gym that I tried out with no initiation fees or processing fees and a super-cheap monthly rate ~ wow! I'm really happy I waited to sign up, because obviously, today was the day I was waiting for! Getting back to having a gym membership feels nice as we move into winter and what is typically rainy season. Although I've loved walking in the park and in the hills, it's so nice to have an option for working out when it's raining out. Also, my neighborhood pool is closed until December 10, so I can't swim there ~ but I can swim at my new gym!

There's a new development happening that I'm not ready to blog about because it's been very challenging to deal with emotionally and I'm waiting to see how some things turn out, but suffice it to say that even though the situation is not currently good, at least it's not horribly terribly bad. I just took a long, hot Epsom-and-sea-salt bath, listening to Island Outpost and reading Living with Joy, a book that M recommended, and I'm feeling the need/desire to post a bunch of gratitudes, so here they are.

• I am so grateful and thankful for my bathtub! Thank you, Universe, for providing me with such a great apartment, such a warm and cozy place to live. I love and appreciate all of the time I (and Dave!) have put into creating such a welcoming and inviting home.
  
• I am so grateful for the healing, love, warmth, respect, and light that exists in my relationship with Dave.
  
• I am grateful for my sweet kitty and truly appreciate her affection and willingness to cuddle.
  
• I have such a beautiful garden! I am so grateful to my landlady, Susan, for taking such good care of the beautiful flowers and plants, for making my garden such a wonderful place to hang out.
  
• I am grateful for the abundance of creativity I've had recently, for all of the inspiration, all of the colors and sparkles and great designs, for all of the great ideas that come to me in odd moments, for the feeling that I have so *much* that I want to create! It's a wonderful feeling of overflowing creativity and I love living in it.
  
• I'm so grateful for Rainbow Grocery and Trader Joe's, with their abundance of colorful, organic foods and low prices ~ and I'm so grateful that Dave and I finally got new canvas bags (the classic L.L. Bean Boat & Tote bags are the best for hauling groceries!) so we don't have to keep reusing or recycling the paper ones.
  
• I am grateful for my Mom, for her health and positive attitude, and for her strength during challenging times.
  
• I'm grateful for my sister, my psychic connection, for her sensitivity and emotions, her Moon-child self.
  
• I am so grateful that *two* agents have now requested partials from me! Yippee!! May the blessings and abundance continue to flow!
  
• I am grateful for my classes at HYP in Berkeley, for the vitality of multi-student classes, and I am so grateful for my privates! I love teaching privates and I am so thankful for the opportunity to teach them whenever they present themselves.
  
• I am so grateful for the assistance people have been willing to offer regarding my book and finding an agent for it ~ Lenny, Will, Neil, friends in LA, Swanna, Molly ~ I feel like I'm creating an army of networkers who can band together and use our collective consciousness and actual connections to help make it all work! So, a HUGE thank-you to anyone and everyone who is currently helping with my book in some way or another!
  
• I am also very, very grateful for the inspiration for my *other* books, which I am finding time to squeeze in work and research here and there.
  
• I am so grateful for my health. It's been wonderful to have my energy back and to be healed from my cold.
  
• I'm so grateful for fresh, nourishing foods, for an abundance of delicious, vegan meals rich with life energy from the earth.
  
• I am so grateful for movement, for exercise, for yoga and stretching and swimming and walking in the hills and for surfing and snowboarding and all of the wonderful outdoor activities that I love so much.
  
• I am grateful for the random email I got today about the gym! I am so thankful that I now have a very affordable option for working out when it's raining, and for swimming when my regular pool is closed. Yay!
  
• I am so thankful for my healthy body, for my strength and flexibility, for my strong heart and low blood pressure. I am so thankful for detoxifying sweat.
  
• I am so thankful for sunsets ~ beautiful sunsets over the ocean, or over the city, turning the buildings and hills gold and sparkly.
  
• I am so grateful to live in such a beautiful city (sigh).
  
• And I am so grateful for the beach and hills in Pacifica, so close to the beautiful city, but like a whole other world sometimes! So close, just a few minutes away, but yet so quiet, secluded, hidden. The city nobody knows about ~ and yet where Dave and I have so many of our special, secret spots, out in nature, near the water, by the ocean that I love so much. I am so grateful that Pacifica has not been "discovered," that it still exists as its own little world, its own quiet, little beach area tucked away.
  
• I am so grateful for so many things and I'm grateful that I'm grateful for them, but I'm getting sleepy now! It's past my bedtime, I think. So I will go to bed now and enjoy and be thankful for my wonderful, deliciously cozy bed and I will have sweet, sweet dreams of gratitude and love all night. Thank you, Universe, for so many blessings and so much abundance in my life!

Basic Human Decency

How much energy does it take to simply be a decent human being? I'm not talking about being a giant ray of sunshine, or a glowing orb of love-light, spreading goodness and kindness across all of humanity wherever you float. I just mean the simple act of existing as a human being treating other human beings with decency - whatever that word means for you. It could mean respect, dignity, or kindness, or it could simply mean not yelling at pedestrians as they cross the street in the crosswalk, when the "Walk" light is on, but you are in your car and you want to make a left turn but you have to wait for the pedestrians to finish crossing the street before you can complete your turn. It could just mean that.

So many angry people taking their anger out on other people. So many angry people taking their anger out on themselves. I understand - I've been there! And I've learned that it never, ever, ever gets the results you think you want. What good did it do that driver to be impatient while I crossed the street, as he made angry faces and gestures and finally shouted out the car window? What good did it do anyone, acting that way? No good, of course. I bet that guy really, really, really wants some good in his life. But all he's doing is perpetuating the negative.

People need to remember to *breathe* especially when they're in their cars. People need to remember other people are people, too. And that some of us simply need to get from one side of the street to the other (this is metaphorical, btw, as well as actual), so we will cross in the crosswalk when the light says, "Walk," and really, I think it's in the best interest of other human beings to recognize that as simply something that happens and not something that should cause you so much anger and grief. Breathe, people, breathe - and let the pedestrians cross the street in peace!

Psychedelic dreams and releasing the old

(image from http://www.picturerealm.co.uk/)
Psychedelic dreams! Last night/this morning was filled with super-trippy dreams about ingesting lots of hallucinogens with some friends and then living in a hyperreal world of so much swirling, bright color. The night started out with a very strange dream about finding out that a girl I know (but haven't been in touch with in a couple of years) killed herself - and my reaction in the dream was, "Oh yeah, she talked about doing that all the time." Yikes! I consciously took that weird energy and made myself transform the dream into something better, cooler, more fun, and with a much more interesting and positive energy - and what it turned into was soooooo psychedelic. Very fun and interesting. At one point, a friend and I were "painting" on each other - laying our hands on each other and painting swirls of bright, patterned, colorful energy light all over our bodies. Trippy good times.

I had another wonderful Reiki/Shamanic healing session on Friday, in which we worked on releasing and saying goodbye to the final remnants of the old, corporate Google Andrea, who worked so hard for so many years for someone else's goals and dreams - finally releasing all of that old energy away, to allow for a spiritual rebirth, to allow my new, more powerful self to come into play. We worked with acknowledging the amount of courage it took for me to quit my job to follow my heart, the strength I have and the new power that is growing within me that will help me feel more calm and yet more powerful. It was a really sweet ritual - a "funeral" of sorts for my old self, and lots of reassurance and confidence from the spirit realm. Also - it turned out that yoga did NOT heal my cold, as I'd originally thought - it only temporarily repressed it. Over the past two weeks, my nose has been running nonstop! I've literally been blowing my nose every five minutes and just *wishing* for it to end. Since M was the one who warned me that I might get a cold after our last session, I told her my concerns, and she was sympathetic, saying that it was my old thoughts releasing. After our huge spiritual "detox" the last time, my body has been releasing all of these old thoughts and old patterns so deeply that it's releasing on a cellular level - hence, my cold. Well, we did some deep relaxation on Friday, too, and M assured me I would be getting better very soon, and I am! I felt about 50% better yesterday, and it's still early today, but I feel even better already. So, many thanks to the universe for the healing. I realize I "had" to get the cold in order to release everything on that deep of a level, but I'm ready to be healed and healthy again! :-)

Taught a super-sweet girl two hours of fire poi yesterday - she was soooooo excited to learn, which made me so grateful, and she was soooooo happy when she left my house with an arsenal of moves to practice, including all of the butterfly variations (more butterflies! yay!), and even the weave. She had the Weave *down* in 20 minutes - I was very impressed. Then subbed a Beginner class at HYP, which was really great, as well. I've gotten so used to my 60-min. lunchtime class that it was really nice to have 90 minutes and be able to spend a long time in certain poses - also to have time to DO so many poses. A great class.

Continued to pig out on Thanksgiving leftovers for the third night in a row and while it's all been incredibly delicious, I am ready to cut back my portion sizes once again and eat like a normal human being, not like a food monster! Fortunately, we have plowed through nearly all of the leftovers, so returning to normal-size plates of food should be pretty easy, I think. It's a cold and gray day here, but I'm thankful for the last few days of sunshine! I don't mind a gray Sunday, especially cozy around the house with my sweeties. It might be nice to go for a long walk this afternoon, but we'll see if I actually leave the comfort and warmth of my abode to convene with nature :-) Right now, I'm just happy and thankful for where I am this moment!

A great day of thanks

Thanksgiving was wonderful! I hope all of you had a great day, as well! It was sunny and gorgeous, with clear, bright blue skies and a definite fall chill in the air. Dave and I spent hours in the early part of the day driving and hiking around Pacifica, enjoying the fact that the beaches are open once again. We hiked out to our favorite point, staring out at the vast, blue ocean, watching giant, white waves come crashing in on the rocks. Not a cloud in the sky! Cuddling up against the cold air, feeling the warm sunshine on my face - overlooking the surfers and the sailboats and the seagulls and hawks.

We cooked a giant feast together and spent our festivities in a low-key, sunshiney way, enjoying every bit of the root vegetable harvest and the great deliciousness of fall... sans turkey :-) It was all so yummy! We cooked up a whole bunch of goodies: a vegan roast with mushroom gravy, stuffing with seitan Italian sausage, garlic mashed potatoes, a huge pan of roasted vegetables: carrots, parsnip, turnips, red bell pepper, brussels sprouts, and more garlic, "traditional" green beans, pumpkin pie - yum! All so delicious, hand-made, home-cooked with love for each other, and all vegan. Of course, now we have tons of leftovers and we'll be eating Thanksgiving for days to come - hooray!

So much to be thankful for this year, so much in every moment. Thank you for reading and thank you for your continued support and love.

Namasté.

It's Yoga Kids Teacher Training

What a great weekend! Ten hours of training, 5 yesterday & 5 today, and I'm now officially certified through It's Yoga Kids to teach yoga to ages 3-13. I have huge amounts of gratitude, warm hugs, and joy for Kate and Rosey, who ran the training program. The curriculum was very clear, straightforward, and well-organized, and their energy and enthusiasm for teaching kids was so evident! There's a certain glow that people get when they're talking about the age group that they love to teach, and Kate would beam like a proud yoga teacher when talking about her teenage students, and Rosey would just turn, well, rosie and glowing with joy when talking about her preschoolers and family yoga.

We were able to connect, Rosey and I, on that level because as far as I've explored, I would love to teach preschoolers and family yoga. I sat in on two It's Yoga Kids classes on Thursday, before the training: Toddlers and Pre-K, and I definitely LOVED the toddlers class (ages 2-3). It was a "Mommy/Daddy/Guardian and Me" type of class, where the kids had the parent/guardian with them. The Pre-K class (ages 3-5) was the kids alone with the teacher, and they dynamic of that class was pretty different, mostly because it consisted of two very young, shy girls and two much bigger, rowdier, older boys ages 5 going on 6. It might have just been the dynamic of that class, but I definitely didn't get as much of the warm-hearted swelling that I did for the Toddlers class - which I really, really loved. The kids were adorable, and I LOVED the interaction they had with their parent/guardian. With both of them doing yoga, singing, dancing, and relaxing, I saw a connection that can't really be made through other types of play time. So, I decided that's really where I'd prefer to focus - on the very young kids, and on family yoga. I'm going to check out and participate in some of Rosey's Family Yoga classes hopefully soon, so I can see her in action, in person, and really get to immerse myself in it that way. The Family Yoga classes are for ALL ages, plus one parent, guardian, or extended family member. She said all sorts of people have shown up: grandparents, aunts, etc. It seems like such a great, sweet, warm-hearted way to connect, so much that I get choked up. I realize on one level that it affects me this way because there is no way in hell my family would do or would have done something like Family Yoga (not now, but particularly not while I was growing up), and going back to some earlier posts from during my 200-hr. teacher training, when I realized very solidly how little my family cares (or seems to care, anyway) about my interest in and life of yoga. So, when I see families who are playing together in this way, and who are learning yoga together, I just want so badly to nurture it, to keep it growing, to spread that vibe and help continue its beautiful energy!

The training was great, 16 of us from all over, including one woman from Japan (!) - everyone from moms to nannies, yoga teachers, school teachers, special ed - everybody had particular interests and experiences that really added to Kate & Rosey's teachings, and everybody had such wonderful, unique teaching styles! During our final team teach this afternoon, we worked in groups with others who were interested in the same age group - there were five of us who came up with a short team teach for 3-to-5-year-olds. It went so well - everybody taught SO well at that age level, and I felt particularly comfortable leading the class (of adults, ha!) in three rounds of "Fly like a butterfly" :-)

Kate mentioned that I have "it" for teaching kids that age (3-5), which was wonderful to hear validated! It's what people keep telling me and, in fact, the same thing Emmy said on Thursday, after I observed her Toddlers class. I'd known Emmy for all of about three minutes, when I mentioned I'd love to teach that age group, she said, "Yes, you really have the spirit for it" - !! So funny :-) It seems other people keep seeing this in me, so I will happily go with the flow and see where it all leads!

That said, the next steps I'll take will be to take a bunch of Rosey's Family Yoga classes, and maybe sit in on more of Emmy's Toddler classes, and really work with the energy for a while. I'd love to eventually take kids & family yoga to HYP in Berkeley, and maybe to help Rosey & Kate get some Family Yoga set up at Bernal Yoga - something Rosey and I talked about briefly. Sometime after the first of the year, I'd also like to sit in on or assist some of Kate's classes at schools, with older kids, to see if any other ages appeal to me. I'm pretty sure my heart is with the young'uns and the family stuff, but I'm pretty open, too.

One last fun thing before I go to bed: butterflies, butterflies, butterflies! OMG. Ever since I wrote that post about how I can't stop thinking about butterflies, I have been surrounded by them! In so many ways. I keep seeing them everywhere, in one form or another - one flying around inside the studio while I was observing the Toddlers class, then one beautiful orange one sitting right next to my steps when I got home. First day of training, sitting next to the lovely, wonderful Anna, who was wearing a butterfly headband :-) And then, of COURSE, the pose I taught to the class this afternoon - and this was NOT on purpose, I swear! - was Butterfly! They're everywhere and I couldn't be happier about it! Bring 'em on!

(today's image is Tanya the Butterfly Girl, from Marghanita Hughes' book - I've just discovered her and her books and I love it all! Check out her stuff if you get a chance - it's really sweet.)

Update: Yoga healed my cold...?

Of course, my heart said, "Go to yoga," rather than do a personal practice today - it was, after all, Eve's class at Yoga Tree, my favorite. And not only was the class awesome, as always, I believe it cured my cold! I'd even stuffed extra tissues in the leg-pocket of my cargo-style yoga pants (they are very cute, btw) - and I didn't pull them out once during the practice. Perhaps it was the yoga itself, perhaps it was the pranayama, perhaps it was the warm room, or the sweat, or Eve's magical healing powers, but as far as I can tell, I don't have a cold any more. Thank you to the universe for bringing healing so quickly! Using lots of deep imagery, I'm visualizing a run-free nose and pain-free throat for good now. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Healing, kids, and practice... paths

(today's image: Naritha, Goddess of Healing)

I am releasing patterns, as I was told I would do... however, they're coming out through my nose! Dripping, dribbling... I am still dealing with the last lingering bits of the sniffles - again, as I was told I would do, but still. Sniff, sniff. At least I'm not contagious any more. It's put a damper on my yoga practice, though. I felt too sore and crappy on Monday to practice, and decided I still needed rest yesterday. I planning on practicing today, but it may be a personal practice rather than going to a class, just because I have to blow my nose every five minutes still. Actually, that's an exaggeration. The cold IS going away. I just have to decide if I have it in me to make it to class or simply into the other room. Praying to the gods and goddesses and angels of healing to dry up these sniffles stat!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to sit in on two classes at It's Yoga Kids: Toddlers at 9:45 and Pre-K at 10:45. I'm really looking forward to seeing what these classes are actually like! My kids' teacher training is this coming weekend, and I really have no idea what to expect. The idea of teaching kids still is somewhat beyond my comprehension. I have zero experience with kids, except for playing with my niece and nephew (6 and 3), and with my friends' kids sometimes, but nothing official or professional. I don't know if I have the patience, or creativity, or WHAT but I'm doing the training anyway, really just to find out more. The idea of teaching kids yoga wasn't even my own - it was my sister who told me she thinks it's "my path," and anyone I've mentioned it to widens their eyes and laughs and says, "yes, I can totally see you doing that!" - so I just keep shrugging my shoulders and saying, we'll see. My sister said it after watching me interact and play with my niece in June, and I thought, okay, maybe she's onto something that I can't see myself. Sometimes it takes another person to point out the things that are invisible to you. So, I'll check out the classes tomorrow and see what kind of a vibe I get, see how I feel about it - and then I'll do the training this weekend and see how it goes. I will listen to my heart and NOT my head and see where it all leads me.

Right now, my heart is saying, don't go to class, stay home and take care of yourself until you're 100% or at the very most go on a short walk. So, hmmm, I will ponder that for the next few minutes (class starts in 30 min, if I go) - it's a good thing that with all of my meditation practice I can go deep very quickly for answers, so signing off, into the depths I now go.

Psychedelic Butterfly

Students! Yes, three came to my lunctime class today at HYP. They finally hung the signs and I believe people in the neighborhood are realizing, oh, they're open now! It was a good class - even had a repeat student, which was great. So, I'm thankful that things are picking up and there's new energy in the studio. It feels really good and I have a good feeling that the energy will continue its momentum.

I've been spending time trying to relax and just take care of myself - after Friday's huge "clean-out," I actually did start coming down with a cold, like I was warned. Just a sore throat and some stuffiness in my nose (and red, watery eyes - so pretty), but it hasn't blossomed into anything bigger, which is fine with me. Sucking on natural lozenges and drinking tea - but my eating and drinking got a bit off track yesterday, and I feel like had to deal with the repercussions today, which didn't help to shed the cold. Yesterday was great, actually - some girlfriends and I had a soap-making party, which was sooooo much fun! It was so great to hang out with such creativity! I love my friends - it's just so wonderful to hang out with earth-loving, love-giving, creative, spiritual chicas! The crafting was so much fun. I never realized how EASY it is to make soap! We came up with some amazingly beautiful, really yummy concoctions: shea butter soap with rosemary & eucalyptus; glycerin soap with rose petals and mulberry essence; goats' milk soap with chai tea (!!); OMG, and sooooo many more. My kitchen smells delicious! And the soaps are all *beautiful*. The molds are old Victorian style, hearts, stars, suns, and moons - sooooo pretty. I'll be using them myself, but they're mainly for Christmas presents. I'm hoping to make at least 75% of my Christmas presents this year, so I've been working on painting glass jars to fill with bath salts; painting boxes; decorating candles; and I'll be working on crocheting, beading, and sewing stuff soon, too - smaller things, maybe like keychains and bookmarks. Yay, crafts! They keep me sane.

But back to yesterday, I did end up indulging in a few full glasses of wine, plus sweet treats like cookies and non-vegan breads. I've been eating about 99% vegan now for about eight weeks, and I really do notice when I don't. Also, I haven't been eating white sugar or white flour. So, to indulge in cookies and breads made with white sugar and flour, plus the alcohol, really made me feel puffy and stuffed today. Puffy and stuffed with a clogged nose and watery eyes - wow, I am a dream come true! Hahaha. It's not THAT bad, really ~ I just need to get back on track now. So, I've been drinking lots of water today, and some detox tea, flushing my system a bit, and I'm going to take an Epsom salt bath tonight to help flush some more. Back on track first thing tomorrow with lots of fresh fruits and veggies!

The image above is from www.koolpages.com/tiedyeman/ and I can't stop staring at it. I'm having a butterfly obsession! I keep thinking about butterflies ~ flying everywhere, in all their various, shimmering, rainbow colors. Psychedelic butterflies! I am dreaming of being lost in a field full of beautiful, bright-colored wildflowers and herbs, with huge flocks of multicolored, psychedelic butterflies surrounding me everywhere I go! I am dreaming that I am a butterfly, my wings huge, tissue-thin, and yet so strong, intricately and boldly colored, gliding on the wind from bright flower to bright flower. Fuschia, sapphire, emerald - all of the jewel colors that I love so much. Sparkling and glittering in the sunshine. To be a butterfly ~ to be a psychedelic butterfly! Perhaps that is my new life's mission. I will incorporate more Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle, or Butterfly pose) into ALL of my upcoming practices and teachings and see where this current obsession will guide me :-)

Releasing patterns and clearing the heart

Whew! I'm wiped out but wanted to write a brief update to last night's post. I had a wonderful session this afternoon with Margaretta, my Reiki/Shamanic healer, going very, very deep to release from my life my tendency toward the pattern I talked about yesterday, and to clear out all of the old darkness, all of the old muck in my heart. It was really intense! This pattern of response has been handed down to me through generations - it is ancient and ancestral, and in Margaretta's words, "not yours." In other words, the feeling that I always had of I don't MEAN to act that way; I'm not doing it on purpose! actually rang true. I wasn't doing it on purpose - I never meant to hurt anyone, to act maliciously or in spite. I was acting out of an old, ancestral, yet terribly outmoded habit, rather than out of any self-guided means to manipulate or control the situation. And when I acted that way, I always felt horrible afterwards, wishing I could just get rid of it - just get rid of my tendency to act that way. For all of the work that I've done, all of the yoga and meditation and talk therapy and books and psychic help and everything - I still knew, deep inside, that I needed extra help in getting RID of this energy that I felt like I didn't own, this energy that felt like somebody else's, that dragged me down and made me lose my power and feel weak and victimized.

Our guided release was really, really intense! There was so much self-forgiveness involved, so much that I had to believe was true for myself before any healing could be allowed in. It took a lot of work but we released the pattern, we released the old way, and then we cleaned out all of the old darkness, the sticky goo, the yuck, the ick in my heart - I piled it up and shielded myself from it and then burned it all away, burned it until it was all gone, and the ashes blown away. All of that old stuff, holding me back, all of that heaviness, weighing me down. It was all so deep! My heart sat alone in space, in ultimate silence afterwards. The space was pregnant, still, utterly tranquil. Zen. I longed to fill it with creativity, to bring in color. But first, I had to learn security in the silence, in the vast space. To be solid and okay with simply being. And in that okay-ness, everything became green, I was surrounded in green, green like fresh-mowed grass, green like new buds sprouting from the earth after a forest fire. Green ~ the color of my heart chakra :-) And I was surrounded by it, everywhere, the whole universe filled with green.

I have guidance, I have a list of guidelines to help me out, I have a new path now - these few paragraphs merely touch on the depth of my cleansing today. M called it a "major detox" and it felt like it! I'm to take it easy tonight, take care of myself, and to wear green for the next few days - also to note that it's possible I might catch a cold, since the body sometimes releases this kind of "detox" through the cells in that way - so, I'm prepared. Whatever comes will ultimately be good, so I am prepared. Wearing green (because it was my color today - keeping that vibe for the next few days as my body adjusts), taking it easy, and it's 9pm on a Friday night now, and if it wasn't entirely obvious that my life is on a somewhat different path than it's been over the last few years, I'm going to bed :-) I am so thankful and grateful for this amazing healing path that I'm on, for being able to release old patterns, for being able to release old, ancestral ties to ways of living that don't suit me, and I am deeply grateful for Margaretta and her intuitive, spiritual, healing guidance. I am a better person on the Earth because of her amazing help!

(today's amazing image is from http://www.nmazca.com/)

Wipeout!

I'm feeling a little low right now, needing to put a wish/prayer/soul cry out to the world, asking for help to be able to roll with the flow of things more smoothly than I do sometimes. Today was a great day - a great, couple-centric, wonderful partnership kind of a day - feeling lucky to be with the sweetest man in the world, having a great life: taught a great fire dancing lesson this morning with a super-cool, very dedicated woman; had an agent request my first 50 pages (!!); found something I thought I had lost; and my sweetie was just the sweetest, grooviest guy... until we were standing in the kitchen talking while I opened my mail, which included three brand-new, form-letter rejections from agents at the same time Dave is telling me about a guy he knows who got his novel published after randomly giving his manuscript to somebody's executive assistant. My emotions dipped low into bummed-out-edness, only for a moment, but it was a very real moment - and in that moment, everything got ruined. I sucked all of the energy out of the day. I forgot about my wonderful partner. I forgot to breathe. I forgot my yoga. I forgot everything except my ego and I allowed it to vampire-suck all of the goodness out of the day. By the time I "came around" a few moments later, everything good from the day was gone. I hadn't just "had a moment" - I had allowed my ego to seize control over the entire day in that moment, draining the life energy from my relationship, my apartment, my life.

In retrospect, all it would have taken would be for me to curse loudly, channel ALL of that negative energy into the rejection letters themselves, then toss them into the drawer with the rest and go back to the sweetness and light of the rest of my life. Had I reacted so, the evening would inevitably continued along a wonderful, happy golden path. As it was, we both wound up bickering, feeling drained, exhausted, confused, and I just kept thinking, Can we turn back time? Just this once?

I work so hard with my yoga and meditation to stay present and grounded that I really HATE when I "forget" the moment - when I allow my ego, my insecurities, my fears to take precedence over the Right Now, over breathing, over my relationship. I know and understand it's human when that happens, but I also understand that it's not very evolved, either. And it's not very grown up. I don't mean to beat myself up so much - I realize I am not perfect and I will not always react to things in life the way that I wish I would. But with these human flaws, I pray to learn and I mean really learn, so as not to repeat them in the future, and not to inadvertently ruin perfectly beautiful evenings because I allowed my selfishness to suck the life force out of everything.

I pray to lighten up, for a sense of humor in hard situations, and for the ability to forgive myself. Saint Anthony - patron saint of lost items - really helped me out today finding the box I thought I'd lost. Is there a patron saint of lightening up and getting a sense of humor rather than being a drag? I suppose that would be Hotei, the Laughing Buddha. Or Krishna, I guess - the God of Humor. Maybe a patron saint of being able to roll with the flow? A surfer-god I can pray to who will remind me in times of low-humor that life is good and just chill out, dude because sometimes waves crash down on you and sometimes you catch them but either way, I am still blessed and it's okay to be happy and just ride it? Oh, DUH! Saint Christopher, the patron saint of surfers! Of course, he's also the patron saint of travelers, so I'll keep him in mind and direct things his way as I continue my travels along the astral plane. Saint Christopher, aloha and thanks in advance for your assistance.

Expect good things to happen

(this beautiful painting is from Painted Journeys)

What a day! I am so grateful for all of the abundance, love, and great things in my life.

The day started off with a heart-to-heart with Dave. I was feeling sad that my friend - my client - with whom I'd been doing Restorative Yoga, has put restoratives on pause in favor of other physical activity. When I talked with her last night, as she explained that she wanted to work on gaining core strength, I felt compassionate and I understood where she was coming from - but for some reason, this morning, I felt particularly sensitive to the idea that she may be continuing to push her body too far. And I realize that it's nothing I should expend too much energy worrying about - after all, it's her life and she's a grown woman who is free to make her own decisions. But still, I know she pushes herself hard, and I know that her body would be very responsive to the benefits of a *regular* Restorative class... but it's not up to me to tell her what to do. I can only make suggestions. Dave lent his ear as I spilled my thoughts, and we resolved my feelings with the understanding that there's really, truly, not much more I can do to convince her of what I believe is a healthier path for her body and her life.

THEN, after breakfast, I spent a wonderful 90 minutes in a private session with a beautiful woman who is definitely working to take charge of her health and her life! What a turnaround! She is a dear friend of mine, and it's so great to see her being so dedicated to changing things for the better. Since it was our first session together, it was important for me to gauge her level and ability, but man, she proved to be way stronger than she thought! We sweated through a power hour, with my standard Ashtanga-influenced Sun Salutes, and then into a bunch of standing poses and then finally to the floor. We're going to be working a lot more with meditation, too, in upcoming classes, so I made sure to spend a couple of extra minutes guiding her through her breath and into a meditative space. It's going to be really interesting and fun working with her along this path, to help her make the changes she wants to make. I love doing these privates - it feels great being so dedicated to making sure they get the absolute most out of a session.

From there, I went to HYP for my lunchtime class. On my drive there, I was listening to Sonia Choquette's book, Trust Your Vibes, and at one point, she said to "expect good things to happen." I'd had no students show up for my classes last week, and it's really easy for me to spiral downward in situations like that, but this time I said to myself, "Today, my thought changes. Today, I expect good things to happen," and let it go.

As I hung around before class with Vanessa, the new desk clerk, Neil, the owner of the studio, came by with a friend. We all talked for a bit, ~ they asked me about my class and I explained that I would be gentle with them, "but with a firm hand" ~ and when it turned out that nobody was arriving, Neil said, "Well, I'll take your class." !!! OMG. I was like, "Errrr, are you sure??" and he was all mellow, like, "Sure, why not?" Then Vanessa joined in and said she'd take it, too. And suddenly, there I was, teaching the owner of the studio! Whoa! And Vanessa was an awesome student, too, which was so helpful - plus, I'm so happy she joined, because I might have been too intimidated otherwise. But it was great! The whole class was great. Neil turned out to be a great student, and I actually remembered several adjustments this time, so I got to adjust them both. They warmed up and sweated - I watched 'em! - and they cooled down, and they stretched and mellowed out and it was allllllll goooooood. The music, a new mix, was perfect. The class was short since we started late, but we still got to work in several good poses.

And the icing on the cake: after class, in the glowy goodness, Neil smiles and says that this was the first class he's taken at the studio. Wow. Wow. I feel incredibly thankful and honored and - well, you know - I just expected good things to happen and wouldn't you know it, they sure did.

A couple of hours later, I headed over to the Berkeley Psychic Institute for a 2-hour reading, which was incredibly accurate and very fun. I had two readers in the room, Mary and Sal, and two remote readers, in contact over the computer. Mary's aura reading was spot-on. There's soooooo much information, I can't remember all of it (they gave me a cassette of the whole thing so I can review at some point), but a couple of cool/funny/interesting things stood out: at one layer, Mary said unexpectedly, "You have a great love of baking." !!! Now, that's just funny, because anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE baking. Then she went on, saying that I love to be the Martha Stewart type, baking and decorating and doing crafty projects !!! I was laughing. Yes, of course, that is so very much me - it was just so funny and fun that she picked up on it. Then there was a lot of stuff about fitness - that the world of fitness brings me great joy, that it's how I deal with a lot of things in my life, and again in the realm of communication, how I am very comfortable speaking in front of a large group of people, or a group of 30 people, maybe wearing a headset, and then she added, "like in a fitness class." So, lots of energy around fitness! Which was especially nice to hear, validating this path for me. Saying in regards to my clarirvoyant skills that I am psychic and I often put it to use, that my intuition is very strong and I use it often in working situations - knowing what will work and what won't; also that I have very strong precognition skills - knowing the future - and that I often put them to use... which I would say I agree with, so again, it's just nice to have that validated. Gosh, there was so much other stuff, but I can't remember it all. At some point, I will listen to the tape and transcribe the reading. For now, I'm just feeling like it was fun and spot-on, and I would certainly recommend them to anyone who's interested in that sort of thing. It was a mere $30 donation for the whole thing. And besides that, everyone was very sweet and friendly! It was totally a great way to spend the rest of my afternoon. Came home and topped it all off with a long, hot bath in Epsom salts, cleansing out any residue and toxins and just warming to the bone from the ice-cold day. Veggie pasta for dinner with Dave, now a nice cold glass of white wine and my kitty (my sweetie's in bed already - he had a long day), so I'm a bookworm for the rest of the evening... and I expect good things will come of it.

The color blue

Things at HYP have been a little slow to pick up. This was the first week of *paid* classes (as opposed to the first two weeks free they were offering), and, well, it's pretty obvious. Nobody came to my Monday class, and nobody came today. Sigh. But, oh well! There is not much I personally can do except help spread the word, so I'm just rolling with the flow, knowing that it *will* pick up sooner or later. Ideally, sooner.

So, while I had the beautiful space to myself today, I settled in for a nice, 30-minute meditation. Started with an emptying into space, and then feeling inspired, did a chakra meditation for a while, which led me into a much deeper meditation. On that plane, I asked my spirit guides what they had for me right then, in the moment, what they needed to tell me, and the answer I got was pretty funny: Wear the color blue to enhance your vibrations. Ha! That's great. I hardly own anything blue: just a couple of old T-shirts and one pretty bra. Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was change into the bra and one of the T-shirts! I'll see if I notice any difference in my vibes during the rest of the day :-)

The color blue is associated with the fifth chakra, the Vishudda Chakra, at the center of the throat. This chakra is associated with communication and creativity, but according to this website, it is also associated with vibration! Which makes sense, of course, because we communicate through vibrations. AND I've been spending some time listening to Sonia Choquette's book Trust Your Vibes, so it's all coming together. Wear blue to enhance your vibrations. Lovely.

Also, according to the entry for "blue" on Wikipedia, "Psychics who claim to be able to observe the aura with their third eye report that someone with a blue aura is a person who is oriented toward spirituality. People with blue auras are said to be in interested in social service work and to be in occupations such as social worker, counselor, teacher, writer, and psychologist."

Heh. Funny how all of this works so nicely. I'm going to spend a little more time researching "blue" and then I'm going to go swimming, and then tonight, Dave & I are going to the Dia de los Muertos parade in SF, and I'm going to take pictures and enjoy every special second of it, because it's one of my most favorite things in the whole world (the Day of the Dead, that is). And you can be sure I'll be wearing something blue the entire time!